Today I came to a realization….

I came to realize that I am lonely. Not in the sense that I need someone by my side or a bunch of human interaction. I’ve had plenty of interaction with people since I came here. The thing is, even though I’m going to different meetings and events with people that I’m meeting here, I miss my humans.

I miss my friends and my family.

My family caused me a ton of pain when I moved here. I don’t think my dad has ever said harsher words to me than the day that I was officially moved into my new home, but he’s still my dad.

I miss my brother.

I miss being able to text my friends at a moments notice to invite them to some new event I found out about.

I miss being able to drive to my favorite restaurants or to my Japanese market and getting snacks.

Ive been keeping myself so bust here with meetings, events, and classes. At first I was saying I’m bust doing these things because I want to advance my career, which is true, don’t get me wrong, but I’m also doing it so that I don’t realize I’m away from everything and everyone I’ve ever known. Im doing it so i can come home so tired that i don’t have time to sit and think about how lonely i am.

I’m on this new adventure alone. I don’t have support. Im doing all of this alone just like many other people are as well.

As alone as i am here though, I’m trying to stay positive. Im excited about all the opportunities that are available to me out here. I just have to stay focused and not worry about something so trivial.

I shall continue the hitchhike….

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